Friday, July 13, 2007

Sex With A View

Hot sex and the expression of one's political views don't go well together. Finding out that you and your love interest are a rightist and a leftist is worse than finding that you are both primarily bottoms. You should be able to put it aside for a night of hot, sweaty monkey love, but it is likely to prevent you from having a longer relationship.

ShortbusEven if you only expect to have a one night stand, it is still better not to bring up politics at all or at least not during intimacy. It would be okay to show a general support for your country by singing your national anthem in the same way that it was done in the movie Shortbus, but bringing up questions about the war (dominatrix scene, same movie) is not a good thing during sex unless you too want to be punished for it. Politics can really get passions going, but not the good ones.

I remember I had an experience once with Didier, a young man in Paris, where the action was great, but afterwards, when I told him "Je suis un Américain," he felt it necessary to give me a jab with his view of American policies. When I defended my country's honor he tried to stop the discussion but it was too late. Fortunately, all the fun stuff had already occurred and it was only a vacation night on the town, but under other circumstances such a discussion by itself would have prevented any further relationship.

Shortbus sceneOf course, this is only a problem when the political views differ, but how would you find out your views are concordant without risking an unfortunate revelation? In some places you can trust that you are surrounded with like minded people but not so in other places. You can't necessarily tell by appearances, as a rough looking daddy may be a tree-hugger and a light hearted gay twink a neocon. The best course of action is not to say anything that could get your prospective partner started on expressing his views. If you can avoid this you won't have to clarify later that, "When I said I was interested in your oral skills I wasn't talking about your ability to express political rhetoric."

ShortbusIf you do accidentally get into a political discussion, keep in mind that Americans would rather talk about things that other people agree with than argue with anyone who doesn't. Americans have strong views, but they are like a person laying on a sofa who is watching video on TV that he hates, but the remote control is out of reach and he doesn't feel like exerting himself to do something to change the channel. Instead the person just lays there and thinks how much he hates what he is seeing. So try to change the topic of conversation and hope for the best.

If you want a long term relationship it probably would be important to know upfront if you are compatible politically with your intended, but if you are going for a fling, focus on who's on top or bottom, not left or right.